First Class Feedback

Giving feedback is an essential part of personal and professional growth, yet it’s often fraught with anxiety—by both the giver and the recipient.  

Sadly, in our experience, it is often given clumsily or avoided altogether.

But when approached with care and delivered with skill, feedback becomes not just a vital tool for improvement but also a gesture of kindness and respect. When we provide thoughtful, compassionate feedback, we cultivate trust, deepen relationships, and nurture the potential of those around us.

Firstly, we need to address, what is its purpose? 

At its core, feedback is not about criticism or judgment—it should be about fostering growth. And it’s worth remembering that positive reinforcement is also a feedback stream.  When we shift our perspective from “pointing out flaws” to “helping someone develop,” the act of giving feedback transforms. 

Feedback, at its best, is born from a desire to support others, to see them succeed, and to contribute to a culture of continuous improvement.

Reflective questions before offering any feedback can help us prepare and focus, such as:

• How can help this person reach their goals? 
• What support or resources might they need?  
• How can we work together to overcome challenges?                                                                                                                                                                                                           

If your motivation isn’t rooted in care and growth, take time to recalibrate. Feedback given with the right intention is far more likely to be received gracefully.

Consider also that everyone processes feedback differently. Some appreciate directness, while others prefer a gentler approach. Do you know the recipient’s communication style, emotional state, and current workload? Empathy can make all the difference.

There are numerous feedback models out there, and structuring your feedback via a tried and tested method can be helpful. At the very least, make your feedback clear, specific, timely, and actionable. Vague demands like “You need to improve your attitude” leave recipients confused and defensive. 

Here are four other recommendations:

1. Make it a regular practice 

Feedback should not be reserved for end of year reviews; it should be woven into the workplace regularly. When feedback—both positive and constructive—is offered as part of the everyday, it becomes less intimidating. Cultivate a culture where questions like “How am I doing?” and “What could I do better?” are encouraged, and where feedback is seen as a gift, not a threat.

2. Describe, don’t judge

Frame your feedback around observations, not interpretations or assumptions. Instead of saying, “You’re always late to meetings,” try, “I’ve noticed you’ve arrived after the start time for the past two meetings.” This approach tends to reduce defensiveness and opens up space for dialogue.

3. Be clear about its impact

Help the recipient understand why the feedback matters. Connect the behaviour to its consequences: “When meetings start late, we have less time to cover all the topics, which reduces our efficiency.”

4. It’s what you say AND how you say it

Mindful language matters – avoid inflammatory absolutes such as ‘always’ or ‘never’ - and an even, gentle tone will encourage an ‘adult to adult’ conversation, to borrow from the terminology of Eric Berne. Feedback is most powerful when it’s a two-way conversation. 

Our professional actors are often asked to deliver feedback to participants, and we go to great lengths to ensure that this is a key part of their skill set. 

Do your people need training and support in delivering – or receiving - feedback? We have delivered several courses around this topic over the years, for clients such as Abbott, Channel 4 and Rolls-Royce plc. 

Experiential learning with actors is, in our view, the best way to practise in a safe space and build confidence with this essential skill. 

 

 

 

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